Growth in the tension of opposites

...and the choice between “good and better.”

Anyone in a corporate career has felt the internal tug-of-war over big career choices. Contradictory feelings—like not being challenged enough but loving the comfort of a steady paycheck or dreaming of changing the world while self-doubt whispers that you’re an impostor—can leave us stuck.

We’ve grown so used to feeling pulled in different directions we’ve normalized it as part of our work lives. Actually, that tension between opposing forces—challenge versus comfort, ambition versus self-doubt—doesn’t have to hold you back. You can leverage it and turn it into forward momentum.

This isn’t a new idea. Psychologist Carl Jung wrote about how we grow by 'holding the tension of opposites' and embracing inner contradictions. Decades later, Barry Johnson applied the concept to organizations, creating (and trademarking) "Polarity Thinking."

Like most good ideas, this one is rooted in nature. Take the butterfly. When it 'claps' its wings, opposing forces act on the air to create the thrust it needs to take off. Once airborne, its wings trace a slanted figure eight or infinity symbol.

Learning to use the power of contradictions can unlock an infinite growth loop. Companies do it (I learned about it at Google), and you can too.

Let’s dig in.

My transition and my inner contradictions

As the end of this year came closer, I had one certainty: my time at Google was coming to an end.

Once I normalized the uncertainty and fear of the transition, I saw–buried deep–a speck of excitement. I had choices (for which I am grateful). I could retire, but considering the number of hours in a day, not. Eventually, I narrowed it down to two: looking for another job in communications or giving Quitting Corp a serious shot.

This was the first time I used the polarity framework on myself. I drew two intersecting lines on a piece of paper and created something like this:

The opposing forces on either pole are the relative “comfort” of applying for and hopefully getting a new job versus the “risky” option of going solo. Both have clear positives and negatives.

Your first thought might be "stuck again!" But remember, understanding the polarity between the two choices is not about coming to an either/or outcome. It's about using that tension to propel you forward.

So, right now, I am leaning into the QC project with a clear understanding of what I will miss out on. There are ways to mitigate everything. For example, I will find a way to network differently so I won’t feel alone. I will also need a new financial plan to maintain some semblance of financial stability.

This is where the infinity loop in “polarity thinking” mirrors the butterfly’s wings. Moving in one direction now doesn’t mean I’m stuck there. These choices are not static: I could fail fast and pivot, or I could succeed enough to one day buy my own health insurance.

Butterflies don’t flap their wings up and down (like birds do). By moving their wings in a figure-eight pattern, they can change direction in an instant. They literally adapt on the fly and can fly backward!

[K]Now You – Where you do the work.

The chaos of change is disturbing! Take a breath. Try to understand the forces pushing you in different directions; what good and bad can come from leaning one way. From that, start creating order by thinking of how to make the two sides work together.

Jung said that the real conflict is not between “good and evil (or bad)” but between “good and better.”

I love that. Things don’t need to be perfect today—we just need to make them a little better tomorrow.

This YouTube video (What is a Polarity?) has one of the easiest-to-understand explanations of working with polarities. If you watch it and want to try it out on any of your internal tug-of-wars, I would love to hear from you.