No More Goals, Just Good Days: Finding Clarity, Bird by Bird.

Dear Readers,

I've been working on a new business idea. It’s new, absorbing, and kind of electric.

Last week, I presented my deck (yes, I have a deck!) to my son, Michael. He gave me lots of really useful feedback. As we were wrapping up, he asked me a deceptively simple question for which I had no answer. "Mom, what are your goals, business-wise or lifestyle-wise, with this project?"

Hmmm.

I started by asking the AI-powered assistant Notebook LM, where I've uploaded each Quitting Corp post. It gave me a 1000-word response, but not the one I needed for this project. Next, I Googled frameworks. None helped.

Finally, I grabbed a pen and paper and made four simple lists: Wants, Don't Wants, Needs, and Don't Needs. Clarity started to emerge, first as “anti-goals” (what I am and have been leaving behind as I've quit corp) and later, as the goals I have been running towards.

I emailed Michael. Really, it's a note to myself.

Dear Mikey

Of all the books about writing I have read lately, Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird is the highlight. The title is her point: to become a writer, don't set out to write a bestseller. Try first to write a good sentence, then a good paragraph. Write, truthfully, about what is happening in a one-inch frame, and forget all your grandiose aspirations to achieve glory. Do it “bird by bird,” little by little. Do it knowing that you likely won't get very far. Being incredibly dedicated to the craft, wise, kind, and self-aware could help. But maybe not.

I loved our call last week. I felt taken seriously! But when you asked me what my lifestyle and business goals are with this project, I could not articulate an answer. After much thinking while walking with Kai and listening to Bird by Bird, something started to emerge.

First, what came to me is what my goals are not: not wanting to be "done” or to stop thinking, not wanting to lose money, or having lofty, big quarter-by-quarter goals like they have in corporations. I also don't want to be hurried.

From there, my wants started to emerge. I want something I can define as success by the pleasure I have in doing the thing, to build something on the back of a problem I identified during my corporate working life. I want to use all the AI tools I wish had existed 20 years ago to do things I wouldn't have thought of trying to do before, because now I can. This is a huge motivator: if I were not to use AI and spend my time in pottery or the garden instead, I could be happy, but I feel I would be missing out. I hate missing out.

Making money would be nice. But it's so far down my wants list that I started to write down what I need and don't need. As great as it would be to swim in cash, I don't need more money. We have enough. I don't need “pentelhação” (a Portuguese word for the kind of nagging that makes you want to move to the woods), and I don't need to succeed in ways other people would look at me and be impressed. Actually, scratch that. Admiration is pretty great.

What I need are practical things that I also want. I need a team, but it has to be made up of people I have fun working with, can laugh with, and to whom I can delegate everything I have no clue about. I also need to, and want to, stay current, engaged, and never be the person who was proud not to use everything tech makes possible (though again, in some of the circles I find myself in, there is a lot of tech-despair. I mostly steer clear.)

Writing this out, bird by bird, helps. I want the good days to stack up. If they add up to something great, fantastic.

All this may not amount to a goal of the type you'd get to (I am thinking of a soccer ball in the net and the whole stadium celebrating). It's about the game that is played.

Playing the "beautiful game,” that's the goal.

I love you,

Mom.

[K]Now You: Wants and Needs

I tend to leap into new ideas at full tilt. The "why" often chases after me. It's a known issue.

The four lists — wants, don’t wants, needs, don’t needs — helped bring focus.

Anne Lamott says good writing starts with seeing clearly. As does good decision-making. So if you’re standing at the edge of a new idea, ask yourself Michael’s question:

What are your goals—business-wise or lifestyle-wise—and how do they connect to what you’re building?

Start by staring at a blank page. Watch what emerges from your pen.